Oleh kerana dah nak exam and nak score giler2 punya, hari ni aku nekad nak studi, not really hard but as smart as well... Last year 3.25 je, this year nak up jadik 3.50 ke.. heheheh... ( jeles ngan opsyen lain yg kaw kaw diorg nyer pointer! ) Then last year 2A 3B. this year nak dpt straight A... Doa2kan la aku ye, kepada sesape yg mengenali insan genit seperti ku ini...

First nak cover tajuk ELT Methodology, pastu nak masterkan Phonetic And Phonology ( nak beat Fuad yang ala2 power part ni ) then  sok lusa baru la nak mengkover tajuk2 Learners and The Learning beserta Literasi Bahasa...

Sesape yg amik exam ni mesti la mengeluh panjang nak hafal theories2 la, Krashen's Hypothesis la, phonetic symbols la dan macam2 lagi... Kena lak orang macam aku yang nak study mesti last minute baru masuk kepala.. Study awal2 ni buat ronyok buku je kena selak2 tapi bacanya beyond literal.

Thank god la tahun lecturer sume ok2 except one or two yang datang unprepared... Btw, selalu aku terpikir, betapa ironiknya pensyarah2 ini bila dia sebuk bebel mengajar anak murid mestilah fun, mestilah interactive mestilah itu mestilah ini, tapi some of them, mengajar sama je mcm org takde pangkat lecturer... Masuk2 je, aku dah sangap! huhu... Tak best langsung! Imagine la dari kol 8.00 pagi sampai 6.00 petang.. Thank goodness la kelas tahun ni banyak yang best.. Then, ada motivasi lak nak gi kelas... This is the students life i would imagine to be... 

Biasanya aku gi kelas, kol 4.30 dah bangun, then siap2 gi umah si dia kol 6.30 pagi... Kuar umah kol 6.00 pagi, dan biasanya kol 10.00 malam la baru sampai semula ke sarang istirehat... Letih sangat2 but it was fun sebab si dia ada.. hehehehe.... :P

alright, time to study.... tapi sebelum tu, nak masak kurma ayam ngan baby bak choy ngan sos tiram dulu... Laphow!

You and me... 

betul kan? betul kan? betul kan.... 

Mungkin ramai yang kenal aku sebagai aku yang nampak hanya diluaran sahaja. Bukan salah mereka pun untuk menilai apa yang mereka lihat mahupun menyalahkan mereka atas persepsi itu. Ibarat kata mr arm, hanya maniam yang mengenal manikam. hahaha.. silly you!

Kenapa nak timbulkan isu ni dalam blog ni selepas 32 tahun bernafas dan selepas 5 tahun berblogging? Ada kisah disebalik itu, sebenarnya. Hanya a few je yg tahu, and hanya a few je yg memahami... One thing la, I hate it when people judge me because of my exterior. That is simply not fair! My look doesnt justify of what i am.. Sometime, kecewa gak sbb my appearance preeced my reputation. Cheh! reputasi la kunun.. Hahaha...

"I work very hard for people to respect at what I do, because people does not respect at what I am." 

Pete Othman, 2008

Susahkan.. Being a person of different personalities, likes and looks memang mencabar. Antara kata2 diskriminasi oleh salah seorang yang kununnya bijaksana dan pandai. "I'm glad I'm not teaching that class".. Ouch! For real, u have to say that out loud? For real?? Guess u lacked that EQ since theres no room for it since, I supposed, your IQ was filling out that small pea sized brain of yours.

Benar, masa tu adalah jugak rasa marah and tak puas hati, being discriminate for how present myself, but that doesnt give her the right to utter those degrading statement for my fragile psyche!

Apa2 pun, look on the bright side, many have said to me that I am good at what I do. Guess 'em right. Therefore, I'm not gonna make people belittle of me and I will prove to the world that I am better in every way.

"I am beautiful, no matter what they say.  (But hey, they told me that I'm beautiful, guess its not an issue here, right!)"

Pete Othman, Facebook, 2012

P/S : I missed him very3 much... 

30 minutes and 47 seconds... that showed me that u care... tq abang...

REWIND....

this morning i was tangled with mixed feeling... angry, frustration the most, feeling of deeply missed someone and etc, all snow-balled into one bulbous bag hanging on my shoulder... i couldnt concentrate at work, at all... so, i took the rest of the, off.. Odd.. Never have i left work for problem related to heart feelings before... *sigh...

these past two days, i was waiting for anything - phone call or text or even a missed call - NONE! I dont know if u knew how i felt, but the truth is, it really hurts... i know, u said countless time that u cannot 100 % commit, but its just me, that expected more from you... i wouldnt blame it on you...

bang, i know it IS hard to work something between us... and i was ready this morning to let everything go... for the sake of both of us... i was determined........................................... until u called... cleared things up... and im sorry, coz u felt obligated to apologize even it wasnt u who commited the so called crime.. i was me, bang... and i know it IS hard to keep our relationship as platonic as it should be...

i was suicidal.. then u called... and 30 minutes 47 seconds later.... i am revive and blessed to have u.. tq bang for care and love... ( even if its hard and many rocky path ahead of us ).. tq..

arghhhh.... feel stressed but i really cannot tell why? feel like something is lacking in my life.. partner? have it.. love? plenty of it.. friends? load of good friends.. work? enjoyed it.. what? why do i feel like this for many nights now??

maybe, just maybe im missing ORANG ITU...? perhaps...

sometimes, aku tertanya2.. tentang hati.. npe mudah sangat berubah2... in my case, nape mudah sangat jatuh hati?? and i read somewhere, it takes a second to fall in love.. true to that...

bukan aku tak sayang DIA, sayang sangat2... Tapi npe masih ada ruang dalam hti ni utk sayang ORANG LAIN? sedangkan aku tau, ORANG LAIN tu mmg hak sesorg... one thing bout ORANG LAIN tu, dia faham situasi ni - good for me, but at the same time ORANG LAIN tu cakap dia boleh sayang tapi xboleh bagi sepenuhnya komitmen.. fully understood coz u r hak sesorang...

mungkin adanya ruang kosong dalam hati ni sbb DIA yang yang aku rasakan semakin menjauh atau sayang dia pada aku makin berkurang - hence, the emptiness i fell? dan kehadiran ORANG LAIN tu mengisi kekosongan?

its a hard thing to keep my new relationship with ORANG LAIN under the radar, coz it was so obvious even a blind man can see... maybe my decision to keep it low IS the best thing to do for ORANG LAIN and me.

I dont want to hurt DIA. Love DIA very much, but i cannot contain my feeling toward ORANG LAIN too.. Can a person love two persons at the same time - secretly?

eventhough ORANG LAIN and i already decided that our relationship is only platonic, but i knew, and he knows, that i just plain love him, platonic-ally or not. susah kalau ada banyak sayang dalam hati ni...

too much love can kill you? true in a sense that if this entanglement is shed to DIA's light!

i've been thinnking bout ORANG LAIN a lot ( too much i must say ) lately... i think it is a gesture of my love toward ORANG LAIN... ah, susah la mcm ni... pening2...

loving somebody whom i know will never be mine, even if that person love u back, is something that i have to live with.. question is, will i be able?

tetibe je rasa nak tulis blog rini.. sbb xtau nak luahkan kat sape... dah berkurun tinggalkan blog sbb busy ngan keje n stuff, terbengkalai jua akhirnya blog ni... i dunno why, i started life this morning with such joys and enthusiasm tapi tba2 je terus down... puncanya, text msg dari sorg ni.... seriously, you wreck my day man....! sedih.... :(

dah le smlm sakit hati gila ngan mamat sorg lg tu... i know im not perfect, but i know im alright... selama ni ko knal aku bertahun2 aku mcm ni gak... what gives? npe lak tetiba smlm jadi isu??? rasa mcm dah malas dah nak ada pape hubungan ngan sesape lagi dah... i just want babies.. boleh??? yup, in few years time, i will adopt a son of my on.. of a daughter... so what if i cherish my celibacy?

damn... masih marah lagi kat bdk ni... :( and for mat F, i think it almost time for us to depart... what say you?????

Bisikkan wahai kekasih,

Andai sayang yang pernah beraja dihatimu dulu,

Masih lagi bertakhta?

Ucapkanlah sang kekasih,

Jika rindu yang pernah bertamu dijiwa mu dulu,

Masih lagi bertandang?

Lafazkanlah oh kekasih,

Sekiranya cinta yang pernah bercambah dalam dirimu dulu,

Masih lagi mekar?

Dan katakan padaku kekasih,

Andai sayang yang pernah beraja dulu kini tiada ditakhtanya,

Jika rindu yang pernah bertandang kini telah pergi,

Sekiranya cinta yang pernah bercambah dulu kini telah layu ditamannya..

Kau katakanlah pada ku kekasih,

Agar bisa aku coretkan kisah rindu cinta ini,

Dalam naskah koleksi hidupku,

Dan ku abadikan kemas-kemas dalam lipatan memori,

Yang esok ianya menjadi sejarah...

xoxo,

Achuleby aku dah makin besar... Mesti korang tertanya2 gak, apa tu achuleby... Well basicly, these are names that my mom gave.. Bahasa baby katanyer... Achuleby tu cucu baby.. Thats the etymology, katanya... Samalah ngan nama aku, pak ngan jadi Anah.. Mudah dan ringkas... Sbb tu anak2 sedara aku panggil aku Anah.. Haha...

Rindu lak kat achuleby aku malam2 buta ni...

XOXO,

Hurm... Its been almost 24 hours I've been keeping myself in this room... now at 11.44pm, its raining outside, and I felt terribly alone... And for the first time, I'm scared.. This feeling is killing me... Rasa takut sngat bukan sebab elemen2 niyang rapik, tapi, kalau alone in this life, with no one to love and live with..

I never thought of that idea of living alone, ever before... And at this moment, I kinda know how it will feel like.. Gosh, I can feel the pain of that emptiness inside me... :(



Could I live without my family, friends and ful? I guess I can't...

Baru tadi dapat text dari ful, dia cakap dia dah putus ngan budak perempuan tu.. Kalau betul, bagus la.. Bukan apa, she left her once, and I said to him, she will do it again.. And this time around, xtau la sape yg tinggalkan sape.. According to him, ppuan tinggalkan dia sbb aku? Hurm... I wonder why???

Masa mula2 dia kawan pun aku ok la gak ( kan shue n aini, aku ok kan?? haha )... Tapi ppuan tu ada janji gak nak jaga dia baik2.. Of course la aku percaya sbb beria2 sngat ppuan tu nak balik kat Ful... Maklum Ful duit dah bnyak sikit skang ni, mula la nak nak kejar balik.. Dulu kata putuskan sbb mak dia nak kwenkan dia ngan engineer.. Hurm, keep on dreaming la, engineer khayalan!

Apa yang aku sakit hati, bila Ful nak belikan aku beg, dia leh cakap, jangan belikan aku... Motif? Hello, suka hati Ful la nak belikan aku apa... Ko sibuk pe hal... Bukan duit ko pun.. Then, senyap2 Ful belikan jugak beg ni...



Ni lah rupanya clutch bag itu.. Tq...

Pastu lagi satu yang aku tak puas hati bila Ful nak bagi duit kat aku dia leh nak mengamuk la.. Siap cakap aku bukan2 lagi... Babe, before you were in the picture, dia selalu bantu aku financially ok... Kadang2 dia bg duit blanja kat aku kalau dia ada duit lebih... Dan kau, nak sibuk2 pe hal.. Sok ko dah kwen, ko jagalah duit dia, jgn sampai satu sen lepas dari kocek dia...

Masa kete wat hal pun, aku msg kat Ful ppuan tu leh balas, cakap 'ko gi la jumpa mekanik, ko sibuk2 tanya laki aku nape?'... Out of frustration, aku hamun la balik ppuan ni... The thing is, ppuan tu pernah cakap, dia tak kisah aku kwn ngan Ful... Then, npe lak ko nak jauhkan aku dari dia... Aku mms pic anak sedara aku pun ko leh replykan cakap : tak yah mms lagi pic2 tu... Boleh?

Kalau org tak ikhlas dalam tutur bicara dia, ni lah jadinya... Yang nampak buruk engkau... Sedangkan aku tak kisah dengan sape pun Ful nak kwn, aku n Ful dah mcm brothers, so mmg susah ko nak pisahkan aku ngan dia... If you know what I mean...

Dan berita pagi ni, Ful dah putus ngan dia tu, aku rasa erm... relieved... :)

Bytheway, ni la ppuan yang aku katakan tu...

Papar Gambar Perempuan Malang Itu

Fuh.. Fuh.. Fuh... Tiup habuk lah! Dah berhabuk blog ni... tak update since 4.9.2009.. Motif? Bnyak kerja sesangat! Blog panitia pun dah tumbuh lalang! Hehe... Bukan apa, mmg quite busy since puasa... Planning raya lah, planning panitia, planning program sekolah, planning business masa puasa lah dll... InsyaAllah ada kelapangan akan diupdatekan sume cite2 tu...

Cakap pasal sibuk ni, mmg lah tak pernah stop... Tggu la cuti sekolah ni baru leh dapat bernafas sikit...! hehehe... Ni pun dah start busy nak exam, pastu tanda kertas, pastu key in markah, pastu analisis n post mortem, pastu hari anugerah, pastu annual dinner...! Ni tak kira lagi minggu depan gak ada perkhemahan gabungan unit beruniform! Pastu sambutan hari kanak2 lak, jatuh dalam AJK persembahan lagi... Aiyoh, super busy sangat!

Tapi pape hal pun, kerja tetap kerja.. Buat mesti buat... Just one thing, i was distracted a lot with my personal love life! Ramai yg dah tahu gak yang aku ngan si DIA tu, dah officially-unofficially broke up! Klu tak faham takpe, ada masa leh explain!

But for now, I wish myself all the best and hope sume mendioakan aku so that aku dapat buat yg terbaik sampai hujung tahun ni...

I added new widget on my blog. Its a countdown timer. Yup. But to countdown what exactly? You'll have to wait or if waiting is dreadful thing to you, just click the timer and voila! Secret unfold.... ( But, where's the fun in it, right! ) But for thrill-seeker-teachers-slash-readers-slash-whoever, waiting is just another slow process of adrenalin rush! ( Yeah, right! ) Hehehe...

Walau pun Armani Diamond dah lama keluar, masa g Langkawi tahun lepas pun aku ada sampling tapi aku tak berkenan langsung ngan bau dia ni.... Ntah, masa aku ngah survey2 perfume yang bau ala2 woody ala2 tough gal baunya, I came accross this Diamond Intense... Bau dia lagi kuat dari Diamond tapi tak lah sampai menyesakkan hidung...



Tapi, it reminds me of CK Crave yang dah discontinued tu dulu.... ( Ikut idung aku ler )... Mula2 Crave tu aku pening sangat bau dia, last2 bila orang cakap bau tu sesuai ngan aku, gradually i fell in love with it... Merasalah pakai 2 botol Crave tu sebelum amoi kat Mahkota Parade tu cakap, "Miss, Crave has been discon!".... I was like, "What? For real?" "Nevermindlah miss, since u are pretty, y dont u try Eternity Summer ( Ltd Edition )..."... Aku pun jawab ala2 kekwat, "I take one of those!"... Cheh!

Back to Diamond Intense ni, what I like was the packaging... Ala2 ada rhinestone jer kat kotak dia.... Rasa sangat macam Beyonce bila pakai Diamond ni... Heh!



Bukan tu jer, bulan ni bulan boros of the year.... Pic kat bawah tu explains all... Tengah craving for bags ler.... Matilah tak dapat discount lagi sebab Guess membership dah ntah kemana! Converse lak, my newly found fav bag!

Opppsss... Lagu satu pic bag tak upload lagi! Motif? Ahh.... Yang penting aku puas hati.... Sok dah takde duit, dok le kunyah tali beg Guess ngan MNG tu! Kalau haus, teguk je Diamonds tu tak pun Happy in Bloom yang tertinggal kat locker bilik guru!...

Haaaa..... Skarang ni musim orang dapat anak... Aku pun dapat anak gak sebelum cuti sekolah hari tu.... Hahaha.... Bukan anak sebenar mahupun anak angkat, tapi anak saudara ler.....

Ni adalah anak pertama adik aku yang paling kecik sekali.... Tak sangka, rasa dah tua dah! Hahaha....



Ni first pics my sis mms-ed me.... Tomel!

Cuti dua minggu yang lepas tu aku habiskan dengan bermain ngan anak sedara aku yang baru tu.... Memang comel.... Aku panggil dia achulebby.... My pet name for her.... Yes, she is a her! Achulebby aku ni memang tak banyak ragam.... Kalau dia nangis cuma nak susu jer.... The rest of the time, she sleeps and sleeps and sleeps.... Kadang2 saje je dengki, kejut dia bangun sebab nak main ngan dia! Geram sangat.....

My mom said, she looked like me when I was a baby.... So did my father and sister.... Aku nengok pun, ada sikit2 macam muka aku masa baby! Hehehehe..... Pape hal pun, achulebby, anah loves you very much....! Muah... Muah.... Muah.....! And of course, cik and joe, congrats!

Semua orang mesti familiar dengan picture ni.... Yes, kat mana lagi kalau bukan kat The Chicken Rice Shop... Tetiba je rasa nak buat entry berkaitan pasal gambar ni... Bukan apa, ada sejarah antara Fasha, Epy and the Chiken Rice Shop tu....

Kisahnya lebih kurang ibarat cinta yang tidak kesampaian....



Fasha Sandrika Kepok Luziana

Elipy Luigi Rodriguez

Begini kisahnya, aku nak couplekan Fasha ( my best friend ) with Epy ( Ful's best friend )... Bukan apa, kalau nak berjalan senang, aku ada geng, Ful pun ada geng....



Apa2 hal, order makan dulu.... Makan 4 orang, tapi yang beria makan aku ngan Ful je, makwe ngan pakwe tu lak, masing2 control ayu macho!



Pada mulanya, masing2 malu2 kucing.... sampai balik rupa2nya diorang malu2 kucing! Nyampah! Masa ni sebenarnya, Fasha tak tau yang aku ajak dia gi Muar untuk apa... Rupa2nya nak kenalkan dia ngan Epy ni.... Hahahaha.... Epy pun tak tau strategi Ful! Tu yang masing2 terkejut beruk tu.... Bukan apa, sebelum ni cuma diorang main msg2 jer!



Pas makan kat situ, kitorang gerak gi Tanjung Mas.... Lepak2 tepi sungai tu sambil nengok2 gelagat orang Muar! Happening gak kat sana... Meriah! Cuma yang tak bestnyer, pakwe ngan makwe kita ni tak bercakap2... Masing2 senyap je.... Aku ngan Ful je yang banyak berborak... Well, at least aku dah initiate the first move.... Yang lain is up to them....

Yang sedihnya, from what I heard, diorang dah putus! Hehehehe.... Takpelah, takde jodoh kan!

Dikesempatan ini saya ingin mengucapkan jutaan tahniah diatas kehadiran orang baru bagi pasangan Diana Adam + Lan dan Rashdan + Liza....

Untuk korang, pas baik demam nanti, aku datang jengok k.... Skrang demam lagi ler.... Apa2 pun, happy parenting to both couples....

Diana + Lan, Rashdan + Liza semoga menempuh kehidupan sempurna dengan kehadiran anak pertama u ols! Sebagai kawan and sedara, I'm proud of you guys....

Yang menariknya, dua2 pasangan ni dapat baby boy dalam hari yang sama

Yesterday I had a blast. Why? I got what I wanted for so long! Yup, finally. Not just that, I even got a bonus! What am I babbling about? Haha... Just watch this!

I wanted this ( for the last two years ), finally got it at a good bargain. Well it was a best buy item. Eventhough it was last two seasons product, still love it!




Plus, a bonus... ( totally a bonus coz it costs more than the watch! Hiks! )

This is what I found that I could use to carry my buku rancangan mengajar and stuff to school! Beg lama tu orang sibuk sangat mengata beg tu punya enormous padlock tu!

All at less than RM1k. I'm happy. Plus he treated me with sushi afterwards! Can't stop smiling! Thanks Ful!

Mail Myself To You...

I'm gonna wrap myself in paper.
I'm gonna dab myself with glue.
Stick some stamps on top of my head.
I'm gonna mail myself to you.

Thats my dear, your valentine's gift!