You and me... 

betul kan? betul kan? betul kan.... 

Tetiba je pagi ni mood aku tak berapa nak elok. Geram pun ada. Hopefully takdelah sampai kepetang mood swing aku ni. Tension la bila nak marah2 je ni. Blood presure pun naik mendadak2. I hate when things gone wrong or not according to plan. En Arm pun xde contact jugak. Frustnyer... I know dia tak rasa apa yang aku rasa, I just wish, he knew... Tu je kisah pasal bad mood.

Ni kisah chess pulak. Hari jadual x pack sangat... Pagi 7.20-8.20 ada satu murid satu sukan... Kena buat permainan catur. OMG, lupa nak sediakan bahan... Oppsss... Well, hey, nobody reminded me.. Hehe... Walaubagaimana pun, kelab chess ni setiap tahun ada je mende kelakar yang berlaku. Teaching a primary students with no formal training or knowledge with the games ni memang la mencabar bagik guru-guru catur ni. Especially bila cikgu nyer ni a.k.a aku pun sama2 tak tau pasal catur ni...

Last year, ajar budak ikut print dalam kotak catur tu... And the moves sume ada kat kotak tu... Tak salah pun aku at that time sebab ajar ikut manual kat kotak tu. I supposed memang betul la semua yang ada kat situ. And last year juga, ada few mixed up untuk pertandingan daerah / zon, last2 budak2 yg dah training selama over a month tu, tak dapat pergi... I was told ada yg nanges... huhuhu...

Then, this year i found out that, apa yang aku ajar tahun lepas salah. Ha? Yup, Supposed kedudukan king berhadapan dengan opponent tapi aku ajar kedudukan king tu bertentangan. Haiya! Apalah la punya syarikat yang kuarkan chess tu.. Hampeh...  Sib baik la tahun lepas tak anta wakil, kalau tak wat malu kompeni je.. hahaha...

Apa yang kelakar last year, yang sampai hari ni aku ingat lagi ialah bila sorang budak tahun 4 tahun lepas. Lepas dah terangkan cara jalan dll, aku arahkan agar budak2 ni main bersama pasangannya. Then bila budak2 sibuk nak check kan king lawan masing2, budak angkat tangan, seraya berkata "CIKGU, KALAU DAH HAJI NAK BUAT APA?" aku apa lagi, macam nak pecah perut ketawa... Haha... Main dam aji rupe nyer! hahaha...

This year pulak, ada budak tahun 3 ni, jalan kan kuda dia macam kuda perang. sauk semua! Kalau kita main, kuda akan makan buah yang ada kat hujung L tu kan, ni tak, dia makan semua yang ada dalam laluan L tu.. Haaaaish... Nampaknya kene kerja keras la kitorg tahun ni nak ajar bebudak ni main chess...

I've been listening to this and I cried. How much these lyrics mean so much to me. And I promise

"I will be all that you want and get myself together

'Cause you keep me from falling apart

And all my life, I'll be with you forever

To get you through the day and make everything okay"

I Will Be - Leona Lewis

There's nothing I could say to you

Nothing I could ever do to make you see

What you mean to me

All the pain, the tears I cried

Still you never said goodbye and now I know

How far you'd go

I know I let you down but it's not like that now

This time I'll never let you go

I will be all that you want and get myself together

'Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life, I'll be with you forever

To get you through the day and make everything okay

I thought that I had everything

I didn't know what life could bring

But now I see, honestly

You're the one thing I got right

The only one I let inside

Now I can breathe 'cause you're here with me

And if I let you down, I'll turn it all around

'Cause I would never let you go

I will be all that you want and get myself together

'Cause you keep me from falling apart

And all my life, I'll be with you forever

To get you through the day and make everything okay

Without you I can't breathe

I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave

You're all I got, you're all I want, oh

'Cause without you I don't know what I'd do

I can never, ever live a day without you

Here with me, do you see you're all I need?

And I will be, all that you want and get myself together

'Cause you keep me from falling apart

And all my life, I'll be with you forever

To get you through the day and make everything okay

I will be all that you want and get myself together

'Cause you keep me from falling apart

And all my life, I'll be with you forever

To get you through the day and make everything okay

Mungkin ramai yang kenal aku sebagai aku yang nampak hanya diluaran sahaja. Bukan salah mereka pun untuk menilai apa yang mereka lihat mahupun menyalahkan mereka atas persepsi itu. Ibarat kata mr arm, hanya maniam yang mengenal manikam. hahaha.. silly you!

Kenapa nak timbulkan isu ni dalam blog ni selepas 32 tahun bernafas dan selepas 5 tahun berblogging? Ada kisah disebalik itu, sebenarnya. Hanya a few je yg tahu, and hanya a few je yg memahami... One thing la, I hate it when people judge me because of my exterior. That is simply not fair! My look doesnt justify of what i am.. Sometime, kecewa gak sbb my appearance preeced my reputation. Cheh! reputasi la kunun.. Hahaha...

"I work very hard for people to respect at what I do, because people does not respect at what I am." 

Pete Othman, 2008

Susahkan.. Being a person of different personalities, likes and looks memang mencabar. Antara kata2 diskriminasi oleh salah seorang yang kununnya bijaksana dan pandai. "I'm glad I'm not teaching that class".. Ouch! For real, u have to say that out loud? For real?? Guess u lacked that EQ since theres no room for it since, I supposed, your IQ was filling out that small pea sized brain of yours.

Benar, masa tu adalah jugak rasa marah and tak puas hati, being discriminate for how present myself, but that doesnt give her the right to utter those degrading statement for my fragile psyche!

Apa2 pun, look on the bright side, many have said to me that I am good at what I do. Guess 'em right. Therefore, I'm not gonna make people belittle of me and I will prove to the world that I am better in every way.

"I am beautiful, no matter what they say.  (But hey, they told me that I'm beautiful, guess its not an issue here, right!)"

Pete Othman, Facebook, 2012

P/S : I missed him very3 much... 

I heard this song first, not so long ago. I love it. But, few weeks ago, I watched Glee and heard them sang this song, it brought this song to a new level which I might say, complementing that particular episode. And the song was about life and how people perceived life.. True, sometimes we were mistreated, under estimated and misunderstood, and we seem to be failing on life when everything gone wrong. Listen to this and understand the words, coz it is really motivating...  (And the part I highlighted, that's what i thought of you.. mr arm )

Made a wrong turn

once or twice.

Dug my way out,

blood and fire.

Bad decisions,

that's alright.

Welcome to my silly life.

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood!

Miss "No way,It's all good", it didn't slow me down

Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated!

Look, I'm still around...

Pretty pretty please!

Don't you ever ever feel

Like you're less than, less than perfect

Pretty pretty please

If you ever ever feel like you're nothing you are perfect to me.

You're so mean (Your so mean)

When you talk (When you talk) about yourself, you were wrong

Change the voices (Change the voices) in your head(In the head)

Make them like you instead

So complicated, look how we all make it!

Filled with so much hatred... such a tired game

It's enough! I've done all I can think of

Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same.

Oh, pretty pretty please

Don't you ever ever feel

Like you're less than, less than perfect

Pretty pretty please

If you ever ever feel like you're nothing you are perfect to me

The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear

The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer

So cool in line, and we try try try,

But we try too hard and it's a waste of my time

Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere

They dont like my jeans, they don't get my hair

Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time

Why do we do that? Why do I do that?

Why do I do that?

Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty please!

Pretty pretty please,

Don't you ever ever feel

Like you're less than, less than perfect

Pretty pretty please

If you ever ever feel like you're nothing, you are perfect to me Yeaaahhh...!

You are perfect, you're perfect!

Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing

You are perfect to me.

Apa kene mengena pemetik api dengan aku? I'm a smoker? Yes. In my defense, I'm a relatively new to smoking , okhay! But, thats not the point.. Tetiba je nak wat post pasal lighter? Like the title of my post, hanya fuad* yang tahu.. Yes, he's the only one that would know about this particular lighter... hehehe... 

Then sekotak tissue lak? Whatta! Tu je kot yang Fuad tak tahu lagi.. hihi...

Biarlah rahsiakan kan, Ad... By the way, Fuad is my new BFF.. Hehehe... Apa2 pun, I haven't being happy like this since late last year... And after yesterday, 24th March, I ( or we ) have sorted everything, and Alhamdulillah, things hopefully will getting better.. Like Fuad said, "aku suka ko hepi2 pete"... tq ad.. 

And I try not fight, misunderstood or do anything to harm this relationship anymore. Coz I'm done crying... And a good relationship it's not a crying game... And on my behalf, I promise to be a better person, for me, for you and for us...

p/s : Seminggu tu nak bertemankan lighter and a box of tissue.... *nanges

it was long ago before i had so much fun and happiness in my life. well, alhamdulillah, today i had one. i just dont know why, being together, in every situation given, we seem to be laughing all day long. and that, really makes me happy...

tq, u.

Sucks as it may sound, but really, it is a challenge more than a burden. I was never seen myself as a student after being a teacher. let alone, sitting for hours on that crippling student chair that made my back ache like hell, especially i havent got any sleep a night before. Seriously, i always smiled after each class... ngeeee... nak tau nape? hehehe... sbb saya ada biarlah rahasia sahaja…

Even I haven’t got time to blog like I used to. Sucks right ( yea like millions of people read your blog mr pete! ) Anyway, entah tetiba je hari ni nak mencurahkan isi hati pada sekeping hati blog yg almost bersawang, almost okhay! Means blum sangat la nak bersawang… I do read my own past entries like my holidays, food I ate, people I met and strange things I encounter…

Back to topic, part time students ni memang mencabar. Mana nak jalankan tugas hakiki, mana nak jalankan tugas sampingan, mana nak buat assignments, mana nak jalankan my social life and the list goes on.. tell you the truth, baju dah 2 3 minggu tak basuh sbb xde masa or just simply malas.. huhu.. tak caya, see for yourself!

( pic xleh upload la.. nanti ea )

Tu ada half yang dah angkat! Haha.. Super malas kan… kalau ada perasan baju pink tu, tu la baju masa gi study okay.. mek baru nak basuh... Sib baik stoclk baju banyak and recently, patah tiang yg sangkut baju dalam almari tu... Baje seberat tuannya? apakah???

No wonder kengkawan nak datang umah sume kene rejek! Hahaha… tu tak masuk lagi masalah emosi dll. Malas nak citer la bab emosi2 ni. Mcm dah xde meaning to me dah… *majuk…

All I wanted to say is, being a part time student is how you manage your time and plan your life ahead. True, kalau tak memang la sume tak jadik. Hopefully me and my abg, my friends fuad, gary and burn as well as all my tesl 3 mate, kita akan harungi ini semua dan berjaya bersama2...

PS : Abg, jom celebrate makan beluga caviar...

its a sturgeon roe la, bukan beluga whale okhay!

contoh lesson plan. its not mine tapi leh edit2 k...

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Sini je... :P